Leaving Dance :(

Hey guys. This blog post is a little bit different to what I normally write but I wanted to talk about what I'm doing in the upcoming year that is really scary for me.

I have been dancing at the same dance studio with the same teachers and people for the past seven years and they have become like my family. In the beginning, everything was really great. I had strong friendships and enjoyed dance every time I went to class. As everyone got older, dance became more competitive. Every one was and is constantly striving to be the best and I found that atmosphere to be really intimidating. I constantly was in an environment where I never felt good enough and always wanted to be better than my best. As much as I love and adore dance, this made class very unenjoyable for me. 

Eventually I started to dance competitively. This was so much fun for me because I love to perform and tell stories through my art form, but competitions also place a lot of pressure on a dancer. There will always be a dance that is better than yours. There will always be a competitor who can do more turns or who's leaps are more extended. I didn't do well under the expectation that I would be able to reach the level of my senior dancers, and I was no longer enjoying what I used to be so passionate about. 

Dance for me is an emotional outlet and a way to be a storyteller, and this wasn't the kind of dance I was partaking in at my studio. I couldn't focus on the emotion when I was constantly making sure my legs were as high as they could go. I couldn't tell a story when I was focusing on what the other girls thought of my ability. Not only this, but dance took almost all of my free time. I danced 4-6 times a week and never had time to see my friends or look into my other interests. Especially with the standards I place on my school work. This was hard for me as I always want to try so many things, but dance limited any exploration I wanted to do. 

This year I have made the decision to leave my dance studio in order to pursue my other interests and also to take care of myself and the space my mind is in. It was a really hard decision to make as I have many close friends at dance that I may not see again as well as the teachers that have become like older sisters to me. I will continue to dance less frequently at another studio that focuses on casual dancing for enjoyment, not competition. 

Quitting competitive and exam dance is one of the hardest decisions I've had to make, as it's been all I've known for the past 11 years. But, I am now able to take up ballroom dancing which I have always dreamed of doing. There is a positive side to this change and as much as this is frightening for me, it's exciting. I know that a new chapter of my life is beginning.

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